Perhaps the most adorable thing that I have ever witnessed, is the affection show between two young siblings. I have seen several accounts where when one sibling is sad or crying, the other will respond to ensure to them that "it'll be ok" and mostly this is followed by a caring hug. I know sometimes to get my little sisters attention I would pretend to cry, and when she was about 2 or 3 she would easily fall for it, and hug and pat me down saying "don't cry kaywa." Now 6 years old, she can tell a sincere cry from that of a fictitious one, and instead says "Kayla, your just being a silly sister, your not really sad!" From infancy, every human has empathy. You enter into a room in a hospital filled with infants, and once one cries so does the whole bunch. And studies have proved that when infants hear their own cries on re-cording it doesn't affect them, until they hear recordings over other babies crying. At such young ages, it is important to foster this feeling of empathy, in order for the child to be an emotionally stable individual, as well as a very social being.
Infants don't like seeing others sad or distressed, and without any actual vocal dialogue to interpret feelings, they can see the facial expressions as well as body language of others to sense their emotions. Experiments like the stony face paradigm, show that as infants, babies can understand the emotional expressions of the parent through joyous interactions, and when their parents put on a emotionless face in the experiment, the infants experience immediate discomfort. So while infants don't begin to take perspectives until a little further into childhood, they can show very empathetic gestures and emotions to those surrounding them, having a close relationship to that individual or not. They sense this distress, and want to make it stop, so as infants they cry, until they are old enough to comfort others through their words or even gestures. Empathy is the ability to recognize, accept, and understand other's emotions. Such empathy is built on self awareness which can be defined as recognizing , accepting, and expressing one's own emotions.
Although we are born with these empathetic emotions and feelings, it is the job of the parent or caregiver to continue to foster these feelings. Attunement, which is the parent's recognition, acceptance, and reciprocation of an infant's emotions, is the key factor in continuing to foster empathy. What parent's should not take part in is, ignoring the feelings of the infant when their expressing themselves, showing contempt for the child's emotions, and not intervening in the child's interactions at all. When children are sad, or get into fights, or just need comfort, it never helps to just yell and automatically discipline them. If they're sad, boy or girl, they should be aloud to cry, you should hear them out when their discussing how a situation makes them feel, and you should always help them understand why fighting is not appropriate (rather than immediate scolding). Empathy comes from being emphasized with, and such feelings support a happier and more stable development, as well as a good social life in the future.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Trust vs. Mistrust
A psychologist, Erik Erikson, is well know for his theory of eight stages of psycho-social development. This theory delves into the psychological and social development of all individuals throughout their lifespan. The stages focus in on important and events from birth throughout a person's life to the very end, such as feeding, potty training, exploring, school, social relationships, relationships, work and parenthood, and then finally reflections on life. The stages goes as follows: infancy (trust vs. mistrust), early childhood (autonomy vs. Shame and doubt), preschool (initiative vs. guilt), school age (industry vs. inferiority), adolescence (identity vs. role confusion), young adulthood (intimacy vs. isolation), middle adulthood (generativity vs. stagnation), and lastly, late adulthood (integrity vs. despair). As someone falling within the stage of young adulthood, I can simply look to the years and stages before and self reflect on which role of development influenced my psychological as well as social being, environment, and life style. Within this blog, I would like to focus on the first and probably most vital stage of Erikson's theory of psycho-social development, and that is Trust vs. Mistrust.
Trust vs. Mistrust the first stage of Erikson's psycho-social development begining at infancy onto 18 months of age. This important event is surrounded by the "feeding" of infants in which they relay on their caregivers to feed and above all care for them. The caregiver(s) should be the one who takes care of the babies needs most and not only care and give forth to the babies essential needs, but also provides affection and love for the baby. This stage is the answer to whether the baby can in the end gain the trust of those around them, giving them a sense of hope for the future yet to come. When a parent or caregiver provides basic food, cleanses, and shows emotions (through hugs, kisses, and smiles), the baby understands that that person is a reliable person to their needs, and prepares themselves to explore their environment through 'autonomy' in the next stage of autonomy vs. shame and doubt. On the other hand, even if parent does or doesn't properly care for their child, also not showing them affection (picking up, holding) or even allows them to cry all the time without any sort of reassurance, the child fosters a sense of mistrust. This mistrust can lead to the shame and doubt in the next stage of development, though nothing is ever set in stone. The baby always has the ability to grow and change whether that means later on in development by caregivers, or later in lives on their own or by surrounding peers.
My mother often tells me of how "spoiled" I was when I was a baby, and how much I still am spoiled to this day. As told to me from my grandparents, my mom often over fed me, which was why I became such a chubby baby. She didn't ever allow me to cry for long, which was very different in how she was raised by our Caribbean culture. Anytime I cried I was fed, and she also never allowed me to cry through the night, although that was suggested by other family members because they feared I wouldn't have any independence. My mom talked about how when I woke in the night, rather than crying I would look at her for some type of reassurance and go back to sleep. She says, "you we're the perfect baby, never cried just slept a lot...oh and you were very chubby." Despite what my family thought about my becoming a spoil and dependent person, my mother always being there fostered trust within me. This allowed me to feel safe and secure in my world, and now into my young adulthood stage of intimacy vs. isolation, I'm very intimate with my peers surrounding me, and my moms very proud of my independence as a college student.
Trust vs. Mistrust the first stage of Erikson's psycho-social development begining at infancy onto 18 months of age. This important event is surrounded by the "feeding" of infants in which they relay on their caregivers to feed and above all care for them. The caregiver(s) should be the one who takes care of the babies needs most and not only care and give forth to the babies essential needs, but also provides affection and love for the baby. This stage is the answer to whether the baby can in the end gain the trust of those around them, giving them a sense of hope for the future yet to come. When a parent or caregiver provides basic food, cleanses, and shows emotions (through hugs, kisses, and smiles), the baby understands that that person is a reliable person to their needs, and prepares themselves to explore their environment through 'autonomy' in the next stage of autonomy vs. shame and doubt. On the other hand, even if parent does or doesn't properly care for their child, also not showing them affection (picking up, holding) or even allows them to cry all the time without any sort of reassurance, the child fosters a sense of mistrust. This mistrust can lead to the shame and doubt in the next stage of development, though nothing is ever set in stone. The baby always has the ability to grow and change whether that means later on in development by caregivers, or later in lives on their own or by surrounding peers.
My mother often tells me of how "spoiled" I was when I was a baby, and how much I still am spoiled to this day. As told to me from my grandparents, my mom often over fed me, which was why I became such a chubby baby. She didn't ever allow me to cry for long, which was very different in how she was raised by our Caribbean culture. Anytime I cried I was fed, and she also never allowed me to cry through the night, although that was suggested by other family members because they feared I wouldn't have any independence. My mom talked about how when I woke in the night, rather than crying I would look at her for some type of reassurance and go back to sleep. She says, "you we're the perfect baby, never cried just slept a lot...oh and you were very chubby." Despite what my family thought about my becoming a spoil and dependent person, my mother always being there fostered trust within me. This allowed me to feel safe and secure in my world, and now into my young adulthood stage of intimacy vs. isolation, I'm very intimate with my peers surrounding me, and my moms very proud of my independence as a college student.
Friday, February 10, 2012
It's Cool... I'm attached :)
As a last semester student of the course, Child Development and a current student of Human Development and Family Studies, I have been given the opportunity to re-learn about the childhood attachment theory. This theory all evolves from the early infant stages in which a child learns "trust vs. mistrust" in being able to trust their outside environment from having close care and protection from their very start within their homes. A child who has been given close care, was tended to when necessary, and comforted often, will not become a "spoiled child" but a trusting child their toddler stages and perhaps later on in life. Created by a child researcher by the name of Mary Ainsworth in 1978, she discovered what she called the three styles of attachment: secure attachment, ambivalent insecure attachments, and avoidant insecure attachment. When considering the many children in my family, including those who were placed in the foster care system, I have gained a better understanding of the attachment theory.
I have a little sister by the age of 6 years old, and immediately I consider her to be a product of secure attachment as an infant. Once my sister was 3years old, we all went to Coney Island and unfortunately she could not par-take in the days full events. As her older sisters, when we left her with my mother to go on particular rides, she often cried when we first left, but we were easily able to comfort her when we returned. She was also to be comforted by other adults who she knew, but held no relation to them. When we later went to the beach that same day, even though no one was holding her as my other little cousins cried about, she was comfortable in her environment because of the trust she held for her older sisters, understanding that we would always be there to comfort her when she needed. The youngest kid amongst the group and without any fear, she walked straight into the water wanting to explore and enjoy her environment independently. In the attachment theory, it defines a securely attached child as one that feels distressed at first when care givers leave, and then happily comforted once they return. While many consider my sister spoiled in the way we rush to her very needs, I'm just glad that she feels trusting in her environment as I know it will help her positively progress in life.
Two of my little cousins both brother and sister, have faced many struggles so early in life starting at the ages of 6 months and 1 years old. Five years later, and having suffered neglect, abuse, and the life of being foster care children, their attachments styles are quite damaged in compared to my little sister. Still, I could differentiate the different theories of attachment between the two. While brother and sister, not only does their ages and sex have an influence of their sense of attachment, but also their personality and temperament have added affects to it as well. The youngest sibling, the boy I would say would fall under the "ambivalent" attachment theory. This theory describes children who become distressed when a parent leaves, and even among their return cannot be comforted. Often times this is due to the parent unavailability to the child. Still not understanding the whole foster care process, the brother was quite distressed every time his mother left him, mostly because he couldn't understand what was happening. Yet even with her return, he still cried because he wasn't trusting in her availability that he wanted her to have with him. Being the older child, his sister was profoundly more distressed than her brother. She hated having visits with her mother, and most times ignored her mother when she came around, even hitting the social work who she felt mistrust from because she brought her mother to meet her. I would classify her as the avoidant- insecure attachment, in which it is defined as children who avoided their caregiver as well as would choose a complete stranger over their parent. Although this expresses signs of abuse or neglect from a caregiver, sadly both children have been exposed to such from an early stage on and are equally insecurely attached. While the secure and insecure attachments styles are on opposite spectrum's, we must work together as a society to influence caregivers to always and continue to comfort their children and help to foster trusting environments for them to grow.
I have a little sister by the age of 6 years old, and immediately I consider her to be a product of secure attachment as an infant. Once my sister was 3years old, we all went to Coney Island and unfortunately she could not par-take in the days full events. As her older sisters, when we left her with my mother to go on particular rides, she often cried when we first left, but we were easily able to comfort her when we returned. She was also to be comforted by other adults who she knew, but held no relation to them. When we later went to the beach that same day, even though no one was holding her as my other little cousins cried about, she was comfortable in her environment because of the trust she held for her older sisters, understanding that we would always be there to comfort her when she needed. The youngest kid amongst the group and without any fear, she walked straight into the water wanting to explore and enjoy her environment independently. In the attachment theory, it defines a securely attached child as one that feels distressed at first when care givers leave, and then happily comforted once they return. While many consider my sister spoiled in the way we rush to her very needs, I'm just glad that she feels trusting in her environment as I know it will help her positively progress in life.
Two of my little cousins both brother and sister, have faced many struggles so early in life starting at the ages of 6 months and 1 years old. Five years later, and having suffered neglect, abuse, and the life of being foster care children, their attachments styles are quite damaged in compared to my little sister. Still, I could differentiate the different theories of attachment between the two. While brother and sister, not only does their ages and sex have an influence of their sense of attachment, but also their personality and temperament have added affects to it as well. The youngest sibling, the boy I would say would fall under the "ambivalent" attachment theory. This theory describes children who become distressed when a parent leaves, and even among their return cannot be comforted. Often times this is due to the parent unavailability to the child. Still not understanding the whole foster care process, the brother was quite distressed every time his mother left him, mostly because he couldn't understand what was happening. Yet even with her return, he still cried because he wasn't trusting in her availability that he wanted her to have with him. Being the older child, his sister was profoundly more distressed than her brother. She hated having visits with her mother, and most times ignored her mother when she came around, even hitting the social work who she felt mistrust from because she brought her mother to meet her. I would classify her as the avoidant- insecure attachment, in which it is defined as children who avoided their caregiver as well as would choose a complete stranger over their parent. Although this expresses signs of abuse or neglect from a caregiver, sadly both children have been exposed to such from an early stage on and are equally insecurely attached. While the secure and insecure attachments styles are on opposite spectrum's, we must work together as a society to influence caregivers to always and continue to comfort their children and help to foster trusting environments for them to grow.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
It's All in Your Temperament!
Even as children, our personality and characteristics vary by such a great degree. I have three younger cousins, all related, yet different in so many ways. The eldest, a four year old little boy was such a peaceful baby. He rarely cried, ate anything in sight, and was comfortable around most people. Although he is no longer an infant, he portrays some of the same qualities but through schooling has become a lot more outspoken. He is what psychologist would describe as a "easy child" on the basis of his easy going temperament. Of the 65% of children that fall within one of three categories of temperament, he accounts for the 40% of the "easy going" children. While his parents have been given a smooth experience in raising him, there are some disadvantages of having an "easy child." With an easy child, often when the child becomes sick or hurt, the parents are not always equipped to best handle the situation as a parent of a "difficult child" would. Also the easy going nature of the child leaves him open to dangers of strangers in the outside world.
Another cousin, younger than the 1st, is a three year old child. Still, very close to the toddler age, he continues to hold the same qualities as he did as an infant. As a newborn it always took him awhile to adjust to any type of sleeping patterns. As an infant, when it came to feeding, it always took him awhile before he was able to truly enjoy a specific food, and even with the adults in his life, he only became attached after a well enough time. Like 15% of the children that fall into the temperament categories, psychologist would describe him as a "slow-to warm" child. It has always taken him awhile to get use to things (toys, food, etc.), as well as people other than his parents. Even with a little brother, he shows possessiveness over the people that try to interact with his baby brother. As a "slow-to warm" child, his parents always have problems at 1st with getting him adjusted to many things, but usually things run a lot more smoothly after, allowing them to feel a sense of pride and accomplishment.
My third and final cousin, the youngest of the two, and brother of the last, is one years old. As a newborn he cried all through the night, as well as whenever he was hungry, had to be changed, had to be given a bath, or not feeling comfortable. He is very specific about the food he receives, and acts out in random occasions. His parents whose first child was "slow-to-warm" sort of gained to their "toolbox" of parenting with dealing with their second child. Of the three temperaments of categories, this son falls into the 10% categorized as a "difficult" child. While in this case much stress is added to the parents lives, they also hold greater knowledge of how to deal with pressuring circumstances involving their child. His older brother once said to me while I tried to put them to sleep, "Kayla, my brother is stuck at the side of the bed." As this is usual of his "difficult" character, it wasn't much news to me and I knew how to react immediately!
Another cousin, younger than the 1st, is a three year old child. Still, very close to the toddler age, he continues to hold the same qualities as he did as an infant. As a newborn it always took him awhile to adjust to any type of sleeping patterns. As an infant, when it came to feeding, it always took him awhile before he was able to truly enjoy a specific food, and even with the adults in his life, he only became attached after a well enough time. Like 15% of the children that fall into the temperament categories, psychologist would describe him as a "slow-to warm" child. It has always taken him awhile to get use to things (toys, food, etc.), as well as people other than his parents. Even with a little brother, he shows possessiveness over the people that try to interact with his baby brother. As a "slow-to warm" child, his parents always have problems at 1st with getting him adjusted to many things, but usually things run a lot more smoothly after, allowing them to feel a sense of pride and accomplishment.
My third and final cousin, the youngest of the two, and brother of the last, is one years old. As a newborn he cried all through the night, as well as whenever he was hungry, had to be changed, had to be given a bath, or not feeling comfortable. He is very specific about the food he receives, and acts out in random occasions. His parents whose first child was "slow-to-warm" sort of gained to their "toolbox" of parenting with dealing with their second child. Of the three temperaments of categories, this son falls into the 10% categorized as a "difficult" child. While in this case much stress is added to the parents lives, they also hold greater knowledge of how to deal with pressuring circumstances involving their child. His older brother once said to me while I tried to put them to sleep, "Kayla, my brother is stuck at the side of the bed." As this is usual of his "difficult" character, it wasn't much news to me and I knew how to react immediately!
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